Maneuvers - No. 67
Not an
Orphan
Have you found yourself simply trying to survive lately, friend?
Desperately trying to keep up with the fast-paced pressures of life? Trudging through the day despite the heavy sadness that weighs on you? Searching for a solution to a serious problem that won’t go away on its own? Waiting and waiting and waiting for your dream to finally become a reality?
We all go through seasons like this, friend. If that’s where you find yourself today, you’re not alone.
In fact, that’s the heart of Holy Spirit’s message this week: You’re not alone.
After all, during those hard times in our lives, it’s easy to feel abandoned and slip into an orphan mindset. We know we’ve begun to think like an orphan when we tell ourselves…
• “I’m alone.”
• “It’s up to me–and only me–to survive.”
• “No one wants me. No one loves me.”
• “God has forgotten me.”
• “What’s the point in dreaming? Life never goes my way.”
• “No one cares about what I’m going through.”
• “Life will always be hard. I just need to get through the day.”
What happens when we begin to think this way? We learn to hide, to shrink ourselves, to numb our hearts so we don’t feel the pain quite as much. We may even forget to pray because we’re so focused on figuring things out ourselves.
…because we feel alone.
Friend, we (Jennifer and Justin) have been there, too. And believe us when we say that an orphan mindset has never done us any favors. It only makes Jesus seem even further away–when, in reality, he’s right here. He’s always been right here.
Today, Holy Spirit is gently yet strongly calling us out of this orphan mindset and into the mindset of a beloved son or daughter: Chosen. Delighted in. Taken care of. Paid attention to. Loved. And, yes, disciplined.
So let’s listen…
01.
The Message
“Where are you running now? What are you trying to escape? Why do you try to fix things by your own understanding, alone without help? Do not be an orphan, dear one. You are not orphaned.
“The mindset of an orphan is survival. They have been left behind. They have been abandoned. They feel unwanted, rejected. They feel not worthy of love. An orphan must survive with the aptitude and situation they have been given. They feel that there are no resources available to them. So their head is low; their heart is fixed on the ground, concerned with what it takes to get through a day. There is little dreaming. They believe they are on their own, unnoticed, a child of the shadows, a voice no one hears for it is muffled, a distant cry in the dark. And this is not you. No, this is not you.
“Raise your head now, dear one. Stand up. Remove yourself from hiding now. Stand by my side. Be by my side. I have chosen you, formed you from the dust, and you are beautiful. You are made the way I intended, with head and heart and ideas and dreams–and I speak to you always, equip you always, strengthen you always, for you are my child, the one I teach and encourage and guide and provide for.
“All I am I give to you. My love overflows into you. I do not hold back; I do not withdraw my affection for you. You do not have to find affection in places of shadow. I have more for you. I am all for you. I have confidence in you; you are my heir, my desired one, my child for whom I lay down everything. Again, all I have is yours.
“So let me touch your heart. Let me soften it, speak to the deepest places within you that are hurting–where you fight to be heard, where you long for the pain to subside, where you ache to be loved. I am so sorry for the ways you have been hurt. I am so sorry for the disappointments, the times when you felt alone and scared and overwhelmed.
“In each moment of your life when you experienced dismay, let me come. In each memory of your past that hurts, that you wish never happened, that you wish could be rewritten, let me come. For each relationship that challenges you, for each person with whom you struggle to connect, trust my heart for you. More than anything, remember that you are not an orphan; remember that you are dearly loved; remember that you are my own.”
02.
Listen
Pause and reflect… how is Holy Spirit challenging any orphan-like thinking you may be struggling with? How do you want to respond to that challenge? Let’s set a timer for five minutes and journal a response to God.
03.
Think
“The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, ‘Abba, Father’” (Romans 8:15, NIV).
1. In what ways have you felt like an orphan–abandoned, alone, or rejected? When have you felt you’re simply trying to survive?
2. How have your life experiences influenced that orphan mindset?
3. How have you looked for affection or fulfillment in places other than God because of this orphan mindset? How has that affected you?
4. Holy Spirit said, “Raise your head now, dear one. Stand up.” In what specific ways is he calling you to rise up? Practically speaking, what would that look like for you?
04.
Trust
Often, our life experiences–hurts, rejection, betrayal, disappointments–can lead us to think like an orphan. Those painful moments in our past can trick us into thinking we were alone then and that we’re still alone now.
But Jesus says, “I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you” (John 14:18, NIV). He also tells us, “And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age” (Matthew 28:20, NIV).
Holy Spirit wants to replace those painful memories of our past with healing ones. He wants to show us that he has always been with us, never abandoning us–not even more a moment.
Let’s return to a portion of this week’s message:
“I am so sorry for the ways you have been hurt. I am so sorry for the disappointments, the times when you felt alone and scared and overwhelmed. In each moment of your life when you experienced dismay, let me come. In each memory of your past that hurts, that you wish never happened, that you wish could be rewritten, let me come.”
Can we allow the Lord to do this today? To start, let’s go somewhere we feel relaxed and safe. (Maybe outside on our back porch or in our bedroom.)
Now, let’s think of those painful moments in our past when we felt alone in our hurt. One by one, let’s imagine those moments in as much detail as possible with one addition… Jesus is there with us. Perhaps he’s shielding us or weeping with us or holding us tightly while we cry.
Can you picture him there with you? How do you feel when you see him? How does it change the way you view those hurtful moments?
Now let’s shift our focus from our past to our present. What difficult challenges are you facing right now, friend? In what areas of your life do you feel alone? Let’s reimagine those areas of our lives with Jesus there.
To do so, let’s close our eyes and imagine specific moments of current struggle… perhaps a person we’re finding difficult to love or a financial challenge we’re trying to overcome or an illness that steals our energy and joy. Whatever it is, let’s picture Jesus there with us, shouldering the load with us, holding us up so we don’t fall, putting his wisdom in our minds so we know what step to take next.
How did this exercise impact the way you view life’s challenges right now? How does it change the way you view yourself and how God loves you?
After pondering these questions and journaling our answers, let’s close in prayer…
05.
Pray
Heavenly Father, thank you for always being there with me, never leaving me or abandoning me. And thank you for adopting me as your own child. There’s nothing better than belonging to you!
Right now, I confess where I’ve allowed myself to think like an orphan. Where I’ve entertained thoughts of being alone or abandoned–even by you. Wash those lies out of my mind and fill me instead with the truth–that I’m loved, chosen, wanted, and strengthened by you.
Let the truth of your love fill me to the point that it overflows into love for others. Use me to help other orphan-minded brothers and sisters to see your love, too.
In Jesus’ name, amen.
Waving the banner with you,
