“In your hunger for more of me, your openness to surrender, pay attention to your desires. And what do I mean by desires? I mean what draws your time and energy, the things you’ve loved to do since you were young—and the desires that have surfaced in you after decades of living…”

“My child, I want you to hear me, for I speak to you in whispers and moments. I speak to you in sunlight and cloudy days. I speak to you in books and sporting games. I speak to you when you are looking for me and when you are not. I have much to teach you, much to show you. I love it when you follow me and trust me to go first. I love it when you study my movements, are curious, and long to get closer to me. I love it when you stay with my pace–when you can feel the imprint of my steps right ahead of yours as you want to walk in them, your Dad's feet shaping your direction…”

“Yes, I know this world is unkind. But I am kind to you, and because of my kindness, you can trust me. And in your trusting of me, which I will help you to do, you will experience a lightness that this world can never give. You will never meet its standards–and do you know why? It is because these standards stand on nothing solid. They are shifting sand, an unsteady foundation that will only cause you to fall. And, please, there are so many places to fall–so I invite you to fall here: fall into me. There is no other place you can trust. There is no other good place to land…”

“There is so much a day holds. So many lives touching yours. So many interactions. I hear the conversations. Each one.

Will you pause and consider this with me for a moment–the view I have of seeing and knowing all the people in your life? Each friend? Each neighbor? Each experience of eye contact you have with another person when you go down the street? The hours, days, weeks, and years of one life touching another and another…”

“Your heart is made for peace. It is what you are best at experiencing, though you might need to realize this. Anxiety is what you feel most–and worry about how to find solutions to problems. But peace is built deep within you, the deep knowing that you are okay, that the world, despite its problems, is okay…”

“Do not fear your anger. Do not fear your sadness. I have made you to withstand emotion, to feel–deeply. Your emotions and the ability to feel things are my gifts to you. For the trees cannot feel and think the way you do—and even though animals can feel degrees of emotions when they are scared or need protection, they cannot feel–with a mind and heart–the same way you feel. You are complex--beyond what you can understand due to the beauty of your framing and the intricate workings of your body and heart, and mind…”

“Oh, your listless heart. How often do you try to imagine me? Do you let your mind strain? Are you up for the effort? Would you consider who I am? Do you let yourself feel me? How is it that you know me? Do you find me remarkable? Do you care that I am more than you can ever understand…”

“Relationship with me, in a deeper way, requires vulnerability. And healing requires vulnerability too. Similarly, you also need vulnerability for trust; for how can you receive what I have to give you without opening your heart a little bit more? How can you receive love without a heart unafraid to feel, even if it hurts when you are vulnerable? For then, you see and experience things about yourself, and allow other people to see those parts of you, that you might like to hide…”

“Do not dismay. My capacity is different from your capacity. So turn to me; stop what you are doing and turn to me. It sounds simple to trust me more than yourself. But it isn’t, I know.

In this turning of the calendar, as you turn with expectaion for the new year ahead, what is it you are taking with you that you can trust? And what are you taking with you that you can’t? Will you let me shape your plans? Will you let me lead you toward a place of discovery? For I have much to show you…”

“Do not be discouraged. Do not be limited by what seems physically possible for you to do now. There is more available for you–more strength and more wisdom. I also have for you a greater capacity to believe me–a greater capacity for hearing my voice, discerning what I say…”

“This moment is holy. I make everything holy. You can stay here, in the place where you are: in my presence but a bit removed from me. Or, you can participate in what is unfolding in and all around you–an experience of heaven in the place where everything for you begins: in your heart. Welcome me deeper into your heart…”

“I am not always quiet. I am not afraid to pursue and hold captive what is evil, unjust, and wrong. I am dauntless in my charge toward your heart, toward bringing peace to you. I want you to hear my voice. I want you to say my name aloud–and in your heart–and know its power. I have made you to be fearless as I am fearless. I have made you to be pure and strong as I am pure and strong…”

“Do you remember your favorite game as a child? Really? Do you remember it? I do. Ask me what it was. Ask me for the details about it. Ask me where I was when you loved to play.

And what is it you love to do now? I know, but I want you to consider your answer. What do you do just because it is fun? What do you do because it makes you smile, your heart full and light? Oh, what kindness I want to show you there! How I want to bring to you Life that you’ve forgotten, remind you of the things you’ve always loved but struggle with now due to worry, responsibilities, and stress…”

“Will you receive my kindness? Will you accept the truth that I am dearly proud of you? I can feel your resistance, your doubt that you are special to me. I know it is a difficult choice sometimes–this choice to let yourself be loved. 

I want to tell you what it is I see in you, and I want to help you to believe it. So, as a first step, relax into me, and surrender your emotions now. Then, together, let’s discern your resistance to hearing and believing me…”

“You draw towards what you need. If you are thirsty, you want to drink. If you are hungry, you want to eat. If you are lonely, you want companionship. If you are sad, you want comfort. If you are angry, you want justice. Sometimes this works and feels simple: you know what you need, and you can discern it and pursue it. Knowing what you need and having it available to you feels good…”

“It is quiet here, in this place of resignation. There are layers covering your heart, layers of sadness. It is a long time since you have felt sad, allowing yourself the gift of deep emotion, of feeling, in general.

Resignation involves pulling inward to what you hope is a place of less pain. It is a way to cope and protect yourself from what you fear could be even worse around the corner. To be resigned to a situation is to close your heart to me, to live alone and on your terms, inside your bunker built to make you believe you are safe and that nothing can hurt you here…”

“Draw in now. Draw towards me. Let the thoughts that are going through your mind now come and go. Let them move through you. They don’t have to cling to you. They don’t have to direct your actions or your response at this moment. Instead, let me guide you deeper into the place in your heart that has always known me, into the place within you that craves and knows connection. You can recognize my voice here. You can remember the location of home…”

“In the darkness, you can still find me. I am not afraid here. I find you where there are shadows and you feel they cover you, where you feel trapped, where you are afraid to stand.

I am with you wherever you are. I carry you whenever you need me to. You can loosen your grip on everything you are trying to hold, and I will catch them. Though you are sure I haven’t, convinced I am nowhere near…”

“It is good to work hard–to take what I’ve given you and offer it back. I love it when you trust me with your circumstances, for then you are stepping deeper into faith and relationship with me. You are entrusting me to show you what step is next.

Sometimes, though, it feels impossible to view hardship as a gift. Instead, it is easier to resent it. Often, you wish you could package up trials and send them back to wherever they came…”

“I hear you asking them–the questions tucked deep inside that eventually rise to the surface: What do I have to offer? What can I do with my life that someone else isn't already doing better? How can I move forward when I feel like moving is pointless? What is the value of being mobilized to action when I'm unsure how my actions will make any difference anyway?

The pain is a weight you carry. You feel it in your body, the tightness, the fear of uncertainty about your role in this world. So when you feel upset, overwhelmed by these emotions–the doubt that covers you–consider this: What agreements are you making about your identity that are not true? Do you know? Also, who is doing the measuring of your worth? Are you? Because unless you are perfectly good and perfectly wise–all of the time–you might be thinking up some things about yourself that aren't completely true. I see you. I know you….”